Every bit of what happened is tragic, but I think what has shaken me the most was hearing of the injured little girl who had over 30 nails removed from her body and the little 8 year old boy who died in the blast after hugging his dad who had just crossed the finish line. The evil done to these littlest of the innocent is appalling.
I also can't help but reflect on how we spent our Sunday morning this past weekend, cheering on my best friend and Jacob's godmother at the Big D marathon and half marathon. I can't help but replay over and over in my head the vision of us standing around after the finish, hugging Mel and congratulating our friend Peggy on finishing her first race. It was joyful. And it felt totally safe. Not once did I fear for my family's or dear friends' lives. I feared that Jacob would run off into the crowds if I put him down (and he did, so I promptly picked him back up). I feared for those still running as the temperature continued to rise and sun grew stronger. I even had small internal fears, would I ever be on the other side again? But never, not once, not for one split second did I fear that my family and friends could be in grave danger. I imagine this must have been similar to the thoughts of those 3,000 miles away just one day later.
I guess tragedy has a way of doing that to us. We don't think of it's possibility until it hits.
I have often thought about my return to marathoning, post babies. Maybe in between babies. I've day dreamed about having Jim and the kids on the course with "Go Mommy" signs. Gosh I can't even count the number of past races Jim has supported me in. And now all I can think about is how I would feel if my passion brought them to their deaths. And I cry just thinking about it. But then I think of the man who lost his 8 year old son yesterday. Whose wife and daughter are still hospitalized. I don't even know his name but I ache for him. That joy of completing one of the sport's finest achievements has forever been robbed from him. Dear God, wrap this man and his family in your love. I don't even have the words to ask You for what he needs, but You know and You will provide. I pray that he receives it.
In all of this I am comforted by the knowledge that justice does come. It may or may not in this life, but it is certain in the eternal life. And for that I remain faithful. And I want to teach our children to remain faithful. I want their hope to be strong. So they believe deep in their core that no matter what horrible things may happen in this life, nothing can separate them from the love of Christ. And that Love is all they need. I can't protect them from the wicked things of this world, but I can with God's perfect guidance, help give them a foundation to overcome.
Today Jacob and I will go for a run in honor of Run for Boston day. It's something we never do together after a long day at school and work. But today we'll make an exception and do our small little part to try to support our brothers and sisters. No, our running will not directly heal their pain or change what happened, but it will be a small act of solidarity. God knows we can all use that.
I had hoped to post pictures of Mel at the finish of her umpteenth half with a much happier post. I'll still post them here because I'm so proud of her and so motivated and inspired by her in so many ways. And in the midst of all the sadness, I think it's good for us to remember that there is good in our world, too. The good that was evident in the selfless first responders on Monday by their instinctual acts of mercy, I am blessed that this same good lives in those I love the most.
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